Saturday, February 26, 2011

That's okay...I'm happy to be in my 40's

When I was 18, I had the WORST breakup ever.  I was devastated, destroyed and the night that it happened, I had every intention of going home and killing myself.  God was watching over me, however, and on the way home, I happened to drive past a friend who was walking home alone.  It was late, she was the younger sister of a friend of mine and so I hated the thought of her being alone on a dark road.  

I pulled over and picked her up and then cried my heart out for hours.  She sat, she listened, and she made me realize that this was so NOT worth ending my life over.  It took my such a ridiculous amount of time to get over that relationship and while it was horrible and painful, it helped shape me into the person that I am today and made me realize what I did NOT want in a relationship ever again.

I am sitting here right now having to watch my teenage son and his girlfriend go through a terrible patch in their relationship.  I've listened to what he has to say, I've listened to what she has to say and I can honestly say that I can totally relate to each of them and their situations with a weird sense of de ja vu.  It's actually painful.

I'm not taking sides.  I know that this is a natural part of any relationship, especially when you're young but my GOD am I glad to not be that age anymore!  It's brought up some pretty bad memories and while I try to explain to Nick things from a girls perspective, he just doesn't get it.  And then it hit me, 19 year old boys are 19 year old boys even when they are mine.  With all of my experiences and the way that he was raised, he still has the brain of a 19 year old boy and is clueless. 

It's painful, truly, truly painful.


FishHawk said...

Yes, our Heavenly Father has a habit of often violating the sanctity of our freewill at the best possible times. (LOL?) For He has kept me from killing myself on several occasions, and all of them were on account of a bad break-up with a woman I just couldn't live without (at the time).

No, I wouldn't have volunteered if I had been given a choice, but all of those gut-wrenching heartbreaks have given me some personal experience with what our Heavenly Father has had to endure over far too many of us. Be assured that this applies to all who can accept it.

Those experiences have also helped me to better understand that the wrath that will be poured out upon the wicked, come Judgment Day, has much more to do with the pain of rejection than righteous indignation. For everything that He has done is oh so very personal to Him.

By the way, your son's girlfriend trusting you enough to talk about the problems she is having with him sure speaks volumes about what a great mother you are. Please keep that in mind the next time you get to thinking that you are not.