Late-Breaking News!

Around ten minutes ago, I was informed that The Really Right Reverend Paisley Ledbetter had been taken into custody on account of multiple probation violations.  It was not specified if his article on Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin (with them being shown less than fully clothed) had anything to do with it, but it would appear that his probation officer, who just got back from an extended vacation, has a thing for Hillary Clinton.

What was specified is that Paisley is to be held at the U.S. Medical Center for Federal Prisoners here in Springfield until he can be transferred to the supermax penitentiary in Florence, CO to serve the remainder of his 356 year sentence for a number of heinous crimes against humanity.  When I asked what those might be, I was told that I didn’t want to know.

By the time I was notified of his arrest, all of Paisley’s published articles had already been deleted, and I was given some indication of what he had in the works.  No, you don’t want to know.

Since Paisley will not be permitted anymore contact with the outside world, ever hearing anything from him again is highly unlikely.  The parents of kids (both human and goat) should be very thankful.

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The Paisley Apology

After what seemed like days upon days of agonizing negotiations, the arbitrator has finally ruled that The Really Right Reverend Paisley Ledbetter must cease and desist from publishing anymore crude, sophomoric jokes.  When I pointed out that everything about him is crude and sophomoric, I was told to not push it.  When he left the courtroom with a dancer from Jillian’s Jiggling Junk under each arm, I got the impression that some favors may have been traded.

Anyway, I was granted the right to issue a formal apology for Paisley’s inexcusable behavior.  So, please accept that I am so very, very sorry.

I was also authorized to look for another editing agency that will do more than just black-out bad words.  Again, please accept that I am so very, very sorry.

No, I was not given permission to delete his prior publications, nor ban him from leaving any crude comments.  Yet again, please accept that I am so very, very sorry.

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Coming Soon: A Different Shade of Paisley

It is in the hope of restoring a semblance of peace on the homefront that I have agreed to extend an invitation to The Really Right Reverend Paisley Ledbetter to become another author/contributing member of this site.  Not that it has been all that peaceful here at home at any particular time, but with my mother-in-law being on a rampage more than usual the last few weeks, I just had to do something.

You see, The Really Right Reverend Paisley Ledbetter is especially precious to my mother-in-law.  I don’t know why, and neither one is telling.

My wife refuses to take a side, and I suppose I cannot really blame her.  For she knows just what her mother is capable of much better than I do.

All of this started when The Really Right Reverend was promoted from just being The Right Reverend.  Since I am not sure which denomination issued his credentials, I have no idea how that came to be, but when it did, he started talking about how he should expose himself to more of the world.

No, the boy just ain’t right, but it could be argued that it may not be his fault.  After all, his middle name is Plaid.

Alas, I do not have the words to express just how sorry I am about this, and I hope you can give me the benefit of your doubts.  After you start seeing what I mean, I suppose it isn’t going to matter much, either way.

I was, however, able to negotiate a compromise of sorts.  For instead of letting him publish directly, like the rest of the authors/contributing members do, his articles will have to be submitted to the Hardshell Baptist Parental Guidance Advisory Board for review, and they will be the ones who will actually post what is approved of under his name.  May we be given the strength to endure this time of great tribulation.

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