Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Despicable Julie Andrews


Some time back, [Lavender Darwin] published an article here castigating [Julie Andrews] and other wealthy actresses for wasting money on vain attempts to maintain a youthful appearance when their discretionary funds could be much better spent helping those who really are in need of reconstructive plastic surgery. It is hard to imagine, I know. For Julie Andrews is generally considered to be one of the most beloved in Hollywood, but being the consummate investigative journalist he surely is, the intrepid Mr. Darwin can find fault with anyone.

As it turns out, the egg is actually on Lavender’s not-so-lovely face. For Ms. Andrews suffers from an extremely rare genetic disorder that causes her nose and chin to grow at an incredibly rapid pace, and in an attempt to appease the rather miffed Mr. Darwin, she decided to not go in for her weekly treatments while filming for [Despicable Me] was still going on. As you can plainly see from the before and after pictures above, the normally very presentable actress experienced a a very dramatic change in appearance (to put it very, very mildly).

No, I do not believe that this will faze Lavender a bit, but according to inside sources, some heads will undoubtedly be rolling like watermelon bongs down a Topanga Canyon hillside. For both her agent and the casting director assured Ms. Andrews that no filming of her actual face was necessary for this animated film. Updates will be published as soon as more information is invented becomes available.

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2 comments:

Lavender Darwin said...

Well I'll be! I must therefore recant of my earlier post, by golly!

I wonder if Merryl Streep has the same condition as well, that requires for her to have her face pulled so taught like a drum?

FishHawk said...

Thanks for stopping by again, my dear Lavender!!! I'll be checking my sources.