Sunday, September 20, 2015

On My Own

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

I was raised in a very conservative Southern Baptist family and taught that we were pretty much on our own in this world.  For apart from God intervening directly to accomplish His purposes in the lives of those like Moses, King David and the Apostles, we were expected to follow the instructions given in the Bible while He watched from Heaven.  Quite obviously, such passages as James 4:13-15 were not focused upon.

When our Heavenly Father, who truly is the Lord God Almighty and Creator of all that exists (apart from Himself, of course) started making Himself real unto me 21 years ago, one of the first things He emphasized was that He truly is in FULL control of ALL that happens—albeit only in respect to the absolute truth of the matter truly being that nothing can happen without it being in accordance to His will.  This includes even what we naturally consider the bad stuff, which is actually meant for His glory and our ultimate good.

I have never been shy about openly proclaiming such since, but from time to time, I have fallen back upon what I was raised to believe.  For I would find myself making all sorts of plans without any regard to what our Heavenly Father wanted.

He has always been faithful to lead me back to my right-mind before I could do too much damage, but I have not always appreciated the way He has done it.  Such was the case recently.  For after being given the idea for developing an advertising app for bloggers and assurance of being allowed and enabled to learn how to write the code for both it and the supporting website, I shut Him out of the necessary steps.

Alas, He went to great lengths (from my own ground-based perspective) this time.  For as my eyesight became progressively weaker and weaker, I still pushed on to make the timetable I had in mind.  I even went to the eye doctor for the first time in six years to obtain a prescription for much stronger glasses, but I could not get one.  For my weaker vision was the result of diabetic bleeding in the back of my eyes and cataracts.  I was given a shot of Avastine in my right eye and an appointment for a shot of the stuff in my left eye a week later, with cataract surgery to come after being re-evaluated in a month.

Oh my, the vision in my right eye improved considerably just a couple of days later, but it was still very weak due to the cataracts.  My plan was to take it easy online at least until the vision in my left eye equaled my right one, but some complications arose that kept me from making the appointment for my left eye shot of Avastine.  You can read about the details [here].

I was to the point of hysterics over what was happening to me until I started actually listening to what He was telling me.  For what I was experiencing was giving me more to write about concerning the very poor general condition of healthcare in this country and bringing to my attention that my own spiritual health was in great need of some mending.

Speaking of such, I have always been reluctant to count all of the trials and tribulations I have been subjected to as joy [James 1:2-4].   Now, I have understood the reason, but I still did not feel like I really had to be joyful over suffering.  Yet, I found myself almost giddy with joy over just being allowed and enabled to get out of our bed at home without a lot of trouble a few days after leaving the hospital this last time.  Yes, I was reminded of James 1:2-4, and I had to laugh at His sense of humor (again).

No, my latest time of tribulation is not yet over.  For I am still not as physically well I was even a couple of months ago, but that is okay.  For He always has my best interest at heart—even when I go to do things on my own without respect to what is in His best interest.

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